Dad’s First Day At The Senior Center

Today was dad’s first day at the Senior Center.  And what a day it was.

I stayed up late last night worried and thinking.  I really hope he likes it.  I hope he’ll be safe.  I hope he doesn’t get lost or fall.  Maybe he’ll make some new friends.  Maybe he’ll find some joy and purpose in his life.

Watching him sitting at the kitchen table staring out the kitchen window day after day has been a huge frustration for me.  It’s been like this for about three years now. He’s silent.  He’s bored.  I just wonder what he’s thinking.  I try to start conversations with him, but there isn’t a whole lot to say.

• I asks what he’s thinking, and he says nothing.
• I ask how he’s feeling, and he says he’s OK.
• I ask if he’s taking his medication, and most of the time he says yes, but there are times when he decides that he doesn’t need to take his medicine anymore.
• I ask if he has eaten, and he says he’s not hungry or some times he just doesn’t remember.
• I ask if there’s anything he needs or wants, and he almost always says no.

There are occasions, usually right after his social security check arrives, where he feels a little more energetic and wants to take a trip to the casino.  These are the times he enjoys most.  This is where he wants to be.

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He likes the action.  He likes the sounds.  He’s in his element.  A few hours at the casino being entertained….This is where he is most comfortable where there is nothing but luck to keep him going.

He sometimes feels talkative and tells me the same stories time after time.  The time when he bought my great grandmothers corner grocery store for $2,500, and ran it 15 hours a day for about a year before giving it to his mother to run.  He really didn’t want to be doing that for the rest of his life.  Or the time when he was a small boy around five years old and worked with my great grandmother in her store.  Most people didn’t have telephones at that time.  So the neighbors would get calls from their relatives at my great grandmothers store.  My father’s job was to run to the neighbor’s house to let them know that they had a call waiting at the store.  For this service, they would tip my father a nickel.  This was a lot of money in the 1940s.

   

 Dad retired as head custodian from the Cherry Hill School district three years ago.  He was seventy years old at the time.  But he was in no rush to retire.  He liked his job.  He liked chatting with the kitchen staff, the custodians, the teachers, the administrators, and the principal.  He liked watching the children.  He enjoyed seeing them grow year after year.  He took a special interest in them and made sure that they didn’t get in any trouble.  When he left, they had a party for him and he received many cards of thanks and congratulations.  Many of the cards were from the children who would refer to him as Mr. Joe.

Dad retired in May 2011 and in August 2011 was his first heart attack, followed immediately by triple bypass surgery.  He’d never been in the hospital and never had any kind of surgery before.  But to everyone’s surprise, dad was a quick healer and made it through the surgery with few problems.  He recovered within a few months and was walking around like nothing had happened.  I must say I was pleasantly surprised.

 But in September 2011 his kidney stone issues had started.  What began as kidney stones, grew into ongoing procedures and complications with ongoing hospital stays, and then finally diagnosed with bladder cancer.  Chemo and radiation treatments were finally finished at the end of 2013.

2014 has also been challenging with endless doctors appointments, procedures, hospital stays, and lots of ups and downs.

So it’s September, and dad still has occasional problems and doctor visits, but we’re finally at a point where his health has stabilized.  Over the last few years his physical and mental state has been declining, but he’s 74 years old, and doing the best he can.

But today we started on a new path.  Today was dad’s first day at the Senior Center.  The bus arrived around 10 AM.  It was supposed to be here at 9:15 or 9:30, but the bus driver must have gotten lost because he was a little late.  My dad sat anxiously at the kitchen table looking out the window and waiting.  Finally around 9:45 I called to make sure that they had him on the list for pickup.  They assured us that they were on the way.  So dad went outside and sat on the front step waiting for the bus to arrive.

I sat at the kitchen table looking out the window, and around 10 AM I saw the bus pull up to the house.  I walked to the front door and opened it to say good bye to dad, but when I arrived, he was already stepping onto the bus.  I waved to the bus driver who waved back.  And off he went for his first day at The Senior Center.

 Dad arrived home around 3 PM today.  The bus dropped him off in front of the house.

He was a little more talkative than usual.  Seems he enjoyed the day out.  He said that everyone was really nice.  He was introduced to many people and shown around the building.  They had rug making, sculpture painting, bingo, wood working, lunch, shopping, and some other activities.

He said that there were lots of women, but only a handful of men there today.  He was seated next to another gentlemen who talked his ear off all day.  The man told him about his childhood and his siblings.  Dad said that he tried to interject, but the man wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise.  I asked him if he participated in any of the activities.  He said that the bus ride was rough, and he lost his glasses.  He did get lunch, describing it in detail, and assured me that he ate it all.  He also went on the shopping trip with a group of seven or eight other people.  It was a good day and he seems to have enjoyed the activity.

And now this new chapter begins.  The senior center bus will arrive between 9:15 and 9:30 AM every Tuesday and Thursday.  I’m hoping for the best and will be watching to see if he’s enjoying this new adventure.

 I’m rooting for you dad 🙂